I found myself at 1:30 this morning milling around a subject that has been discussed for the past four weeks between a couple of friends and I, each person bringing it up at separate times. The question was, "How does a Christian let go of a friend?"
Have you ever faced the dilemma of needing to let go of a relationship? Have you ever tried to figure out how to release a friend that you have drifted from without looking like a jerk? Do you find yourself asking the question, "Why are things different or what has changed?" When did things shift from, interest to disinterest?"
In my years of serving God I have found that some relationships in my life have faded. Was it me, them, both or timing? I have had to seek God deeply on this issue for I didn't want to be a "fickle friend", unless God told me to. Some I was ready to let go of and others I grieved as if it were a death.
What does Jesus do in these types of cases? This brings me to a few more questions, "When does God let go and quit pursuing a person? When does He go from favoring them to loving them less? And is it God no longer pursuing us or is it man running away while He stays in his steadfast pose of arms out waiting? Its the latter one. His love never changes.
Malachi 1:2 states that God loves Jacob but Esau He hates. Those are some pretty strong words for a God who is Love. But the word hate, here in Hebrew, means He loved less. Even in Jacobs deceitful way he still pursued God, however, Esau did not. I would like to submit that this "loving more" of Jacob came because two separate loves were meeting, Jacob's and God's. Many times in the Word you see God's favor resting on an individual.These special people had hearts that longed for God. God's hand hovered over Jacob's life as it did over David's, Daniel's and Joseph's: All pursuers of their Savior and their friend. Rich relationships always come with trust and an exchange of the hearts.
The truth of pursuit and much love go hand in hand. We pursue what we love.
Come near to God and he will come near to you...James 4:8a
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
These scriptures along with others in the Word have a promise of catching God. Imagine running full force into His embrace. Colliding with the God of the universe. The impact would certainly ring your bell and changed your life.
Our precious Father is in constant pursuit of us. He is always in a position of arms open and waiting. His steadfast love never changes. But my question in this silly blog is, "How can we love another less and still love them fully?" It comes with the same principle of pursuit. More love is in the midst when two people are pursuing each other, but when one of the two becomes distracted, disinterested or turns there backs on the relationship, less love has entered the scene. And no matter how deep your love is there is no longer the impact of two loves.
Christ pursues us, we pursue him, BAM!!, more love. This same truth goes with friendships, marriage, and our children. The reality of this, is sometimes people just don't love us as much as we love them. Maybe you have found yourself in a friendship that seems to lack what it used to be, you've both grown or changed, and the relationship just seems awkward. What does a Christian do here? Do you Break up with your friend? That's nonsense. Seasonal friendships have their place. Be it two weeks, two years or twenty. They hold very special places in our hearts that no one can fill. But sometimes friendships have these invisible bungee cords attached to them. They have a way of pulling us backwards, removing our growth and our momentum of pursuing God. Just when we are about to take hold of a prize...boing! we are pulled back because of the attachment to what we were tied to.
At times, its not always about letting go of a relationship but letting it grow into something new. It won't be what it was, hopefully it will be better.
My advice to you: If you have found yourself in this uncomfortable place of "what now", listen to the Spirit of God and what He says about who belongs in your life. Remember Lot and Abram? Abram was to leave his family and his hometown of Haran. In Genesis 12, Abram took Lot anyway. It was not a good move for Lot and it ended up destroying much their relationship. Lot found himself living in Sodom and Gomorrah, losing his wife and his daughters were corrupted by the environment they lived in. Abram needed to leave Lot behind and love him fully by loving him less.It's painful to leave friends where you met them, but even more painful to see lives destroyed because you didn't obey. As hard as it is to accept, sometimes people are better off without us, as amazing as we may be. :)
Added thought:
Bungee cords work two ways. Hook yours in the belt loops of Christ,
that way you are always going forward.
Have you ever faced the dilemma of needing to let go of a relationship? Have you ever tried to figure out how to release a friend that you have drifted from without looking like a jerk? Do you find yourself asking the question, "Why are things different or what has changed?" When did things shift from, interest to disinterest?"
In my years of serving God I have found that some relationships in my life have faded. Was it me, them, both or timing? I have had to seek God deeply on this issue for I didn't want to be a "fickle friend", unless God told me to. Some I was ready to let go of and others I grieved as if it were a death.
What does Jesus do in these types of cases? This brings me to a few more questions, "When does God let go and quit pursuing a person? When does He go from favoring them to loving them less? And is it God no longer pursuing us or is it man running away while He stays in his steadfast pose of arms out waiting? Its the latter one. His love never changes.
Malachi 1:2 states that God loves Jacob but Esau He hates. Those are some pretty strong words for a God who is Love. But the word hate, here in Hebrew, means He loved less. Even in Jacobs deceitful way he still pursued God, however, Esau did not. I would like to submit that this "loving more" of Jacob came because two separate loves were meeting, Jacob's and God's. Many times in the Word you see God's favor resting on an individual.These special people had hearts that longed for God. God's hand hovered over Jacob's life as it did over David's, Daniel's and Joseph's: All pursuers of their Savior and their friend. Rich relationships always come with trust and an exchange of the hearts.
The truth of pursuit and much love go hand in hand. We pursue what we love.
Come near to God and he will come near to you...James 4:8a
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
These scriptures along with others in the Word have a promise of catching God. Imagine running full force into His embrace. Colliding with the God of the universe. The impact would certainly ring your bell and changed your life.
Our precious Father is in constant pursuit of us. He is always in a position of arms open and waiting. His steadfast love never changes. But my question in this silly blog is, "How can we love another less and still love them fully?" It comes with the same principle of pursuit. More love is in the midst when two people are pursuing each other, but when one of the two becomes distracted, disinterested or turns there backs on the relationship, less love has entered the scene. And no matter how deep your love is there is no longer the impact of two loves.
Christ pursues us, we pursue him, BAM!!, more love. This same truth goes with friendships, marriage, and our children. The reality of this, is sometimes people just don't love us as much as we love them. Maybe you have found yourself in a friendship that seems to lack what it used to be, you've both grown or changed, and the relationship just seems awkward. What does a Christian do here? Do you Break up with your friend? That's nonsense. Seasonal friendships have their place. Be it two weeks, two years or twenty. They hold very special places in our hearts that no one can fill. But sometimes friendships have these invisible bungee cords attached to them. They have a way of pulling us backwards, removing our growth and our momentum of pursuing God. Just when we are about to take hold of a prize...boing! we are pulled back because of the attachment to what we were tied to.
At times, its not always about letting go of a relationship but letting it grow into something new. It won't be what it was, hopefully it will be better.
My advice to you: If you have found yourself in this uncomfortable place of "what now", listen to the Spirit of God and what He says about who belongs in your life. Remember Lot and Abram? Abram was to leave his family and his hometown of Haran. In Genesis 12, Abram took Lot anyway. It was not a good move for Lot and it ended up destroying much their relationship. Lot found himself living in Sodom and Gomorrah, losing his wife and his daughters were corrupted by the environment they lived in. Abram needed to leave Lot behind and love him fully by loving him less.It's painful to leave friends where you met them, but even more painful to see lives destroyed because you didn't obey. As hard as it is to accept, sometimes people are better off without us, as amazing as we may be. :)
Added thought:
Bungee cords work two ways. Hook yours in the belt loops of Christ,
that way you are always going forward.
Thank you Holly! I really needed this validation. You are truly a blessing!
ReplyDeleteYou are more than welcome
ReplyDelete