"Mrs Ruddock the radiologist would like me to take another picture." Said Mary my nurse.The song floats through my head and heart again, "All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
A week prior to this appointment I found a lump the size of a dime under my arm.I went to my Dr and she felt it as well and scheduled me for a mamogram. I have had this scare before but my health had not been at its prime and several signs were pointing to a fear all women have.
I sat in the Dr's office waiting. After my first mamogram I was asked sit in the waiting room for my ultra sound. Then Mary asked me to come back for a second peak. After the second showing, I went back to my seat awaiting the ultra sound that was next. Something about sitting in a smock after your boobs have been rolling pinned over makes for great conversation. But the Gorilla in the room was not a funny matter. Fear was obviously a travel companion in this facility.
We giggled about the procedure and found things light to discuss but ones mind is trying to wrap around what might be next in their life and preparing for a storm that may or may not be coming.
An hour later my nurse sees that I am still waiting for my ultra sound. She said she was going to see what was taking so long. In that hour I had seen several women come and go and be informed that they would receive a letter in ten days. That is good news is you have had a mamogram because if there is anything suspicious you are having checked out they let you know that day. I know this because I asked how long it would take to get my results. This hour gave me a lot of time to pray, reflect and worry a bit. And Then I prayed a radical prayer. I said "Alright Lord, If this is a hurdle you want me to jump I will. If you need a Lazarus to show your glory I surrender to your plan."
I was readying my heart for whatever God was about to take me through. I have learned to do this because He has not always rescued me from some pretty horrific things but instead braced me and carried me in them. I have learned He is Always faithful, Never failing and a Constant presence in my trouble.
I am called back for the ultra sound, after a few minutes the technician says to me " I need to go show these to the radiologist." The song in my heart is sung again.
All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you.
She comes back and says, "You are free to go."
You can imagine the look of confusion on my face. I was prepared for the worst and now I am being released. I asked her if she found the lump. She said " No its gone", matter-of-factly. I am shaking my head. Last week I have a lump this week its gone. All my extra x-rays and time waiting were because they were looking for something that was there a few days ago and now its not.
I called my husband who was out of town and told him the good news and then called a dear friend who's father-in-law was going through caner and informed her my lump was gone. I later learned that she wept over my healing. This did something to my spirit that is very hard to put into words. I didn't even cry but she allowed her tears to flow for me. My touch from God was a great encouragement to her that God still sits on the throne and has the final say in our lives. Yes God still moves!!!
Many prayers were offered up that week by a few close friends and family. And my Heart was being encouraged in the Lord.
A measure of trust is released and your faith is increased during the unknown times. I teach in my bible study that hope is the lasso that connects us to the unseen. As I sat in the waiting room I took my prayers and swung them around an unseen God and said "I will not let go of you not matter what."
As I am being touched and healed, I have friends that are walking through the very thing I was rescued from. Does it make since to me that I am healed and another is not? No, not really. I can't even try to figure it out. What I do know, is that those who are journeying through their wilderness, and not being rescued from it, will not be disappointed in God or the treasures they find in the storm.
Is 63:7 in the Message bible reads
In all their troubles, he was troubled, too. He didn't send someone else to help them. He did it himself, in person. Out of his own love and pity he redeemed them. He rescued them and carried them along for a long, long time.
My words to you today is, if your are having to walk through some unknown territory, hold fast to the one who walks the dark hills with you.
And don't forget to sing.
"All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
