I sat in his office, sick that I was in the principal's office once again. How do I keep getting into these messes? Don't answer that. Sure I was the kid who would put tacks on a fellow students seat before he plopped down. And yes I was the girl who would sharpen my pencil 800 times. And maybe I was the girl who wrote the answers on her hand during tests...maybe. And maybe I would cut my friends hair during recess. But this time it wasn't my fault. It was another.
I was being asked the questions as to what transpired. Did I see her take the necklace off the rack? Did I see her with the stolen goods? My answer made me ill. I did in fact see my friend, who was the thief, with the items. I went to a christian school and a friend of mine was caught red handed with stolen jewelry. What were those items? Michel Jackson collectibles. This friend was so mesmerized and in love with him she was willing to break the law for his themed jewelry and clothing. Now here I am being questioned by our principal/pastor if I witnessed it. I feared this man. He never seemed too happy with me anyway. Other encounters were usually correcting me, trying to change me, warning me, and now I was required to be a snitch. To betray a friend is never easy. And to be put on the spot by somebody you fear rather than respect, made the situation even more difficult.
The reason this story comes back to my mind is for two reason: 1) This is the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. And 2) I am reading A Tale of Three Kings, a study of brokenness, submission and authority.
That encounter with my school principal and other leaders who caused my heart to beat faster out of fear, has always inspired me to study what true leadership is and what God sees as genuine authority. I think a quote from the Tale of Three Kings summed it up for me.
I will tell you of my king and his greatness, My king has never threatened me as does yours. Your king has begun his reign with laws, rules, regulations and fear. The clearest memory I have of my king, when we lived in caves, is that his was a life of submission, not authority. He taught me not the quick cures of rules and laws, but the art of patience...My king spoke not of submitting to him. He feared no rebellion...because...because he did not mind if he was dethroned?"
This was being said from one of David's mighty men. This fictitious interview also quoted the warrior saying, " David had authority, but I don't think that fact ever occurred to him! We were 600 no-goods with a leader who cried a lot."
A weeping leader sounds a lot like a man of sorrow. Sometimes I beat myself up because I cry when my heart hurts or I'm afraid. I feel weak when I am scared, and then it occurs to me, as I am sure it is occurring to you now, That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10
I remember when my dad got saved. I was nine years old and I saw him weeping at the altar with his hands raised. I left the pew and stood by him, I couldn't stop my tears. He reached his hand down to me and I took his weathered rough hand. I saw tears streaming down his face and my heart broke. And I never felt safer than when I saw my father weep.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
blank paper
I just made it back from a conference a few days ago and the Lord spoke some wonderful things into my heart. If you will allow me to share them, I would like to tell you what the Lord has placed in my spirit.
During worship, I began to hear in my spirit these words. Although It was me saying it I felt as if I was being spoke to.
At this particular time in my life I feel like a canvas. Unlike other times when I was the pen, or the paintbrush. I would write, draw or create. But not at this moment in time. I am blank.
Waiting for either a message to be written on me or a picture to be drawn. I wait, expectantly, wondering if I will be a song He makes of me, a letter He writes of me, a masterpiece He paints on me. Whatever it is I will resist picking up the brush to add my touch. I will resist the desire to add a color. I will repel the thought of grabbing the pen and describing a picture...I will wait.
I will wait for the word of the Author to be written.
I will wait for the brush strokes of the Artist to be painted
I will wait for the shaping of the Potter to be molded.
I will not add the colors.
I will not frame the art
I will not bind the book.
I will not fold the card.
I will not write the note
I will not pen the story.
I will wait.
( I saw in my spirit's eye these items on a stand)
A blank book waiting to be written. A blank song sheet waiting to be composed. A plain canvas waiting to be painted on. A blank piece of paper awaiting a letter to be written. An envelope waiting to be addressed.
(Then the question)
How do I prepare for the plan God has for me to be positioned for His purpose? What will I do as I wait?
(This was the answer)
I will be a gather of the forgotten seed
A seeker of the hidden seed.
A keeper of the dismissed seed.
A bag for the fallen seed.
This was what the Lord gave me and now I wait for Him to write His story on my life. A new chapter or piece of art work...
Do you ever feel that something is coming but you don't know what? This is how I feel, to prepare for something that is unknown. I am compelled to ready myself and to wait.
I have been here before and am excited for what my Father is doing in me.
Please friend, tell me if you have ever been here before. Tell me what God has done for you after your time of waiting for His brush strokes.
If you pray for me, pray I stay fixed on Him and not become anxious in the process of being on pause.
Psalm 27:4 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 And then God answered: "Write this.Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. the message
During worship, I began to hear in my spirit these words. Although It was me saying it I felt as if I was being spoke to.
At this particular time in my life I feel like a canvas. Unlike other times when I was the pen, or the paintbrush. I would write, draw or create. But not at this moment in time. I am blank.
Waiting for either a message to be written on me or a picture to be drawn. I wait, expectantly, wondering if I will be a song He makes of me, a letter He writes of me, a masterpiece He paints on me. Whatever it is I will resist picking up the brush to add my touch. I will resist the desire to add a color. I will repel the thought of grabbing the pen and describing a picture...I will wait.
I will wait for the word of the Author to be written.
I will wait for the brush strokes of the Artist to be painted
I will wait for the shaping of the Potter to be molded.
I will not add the colors.
I will not frame the art
I will not bind the book.
I will not fold the card.
I will not write the note
I will not pen the story.
I will wait.
( I saw in my spirit's eye these items on a stand)
A blank book waiting to be written. A blank song sheet waiting to be composed. A plain canvas waiting to be painted on. A blank piece of paper awaiting a letter to be written. An envelope waiting to be addressed.
(Then the question)
How do I prepare for the plan God has for me to be positioned for His purpose? What will I do as I wait?
(This was the answer)
I will be a gather of the forgotten seed
A seeker of the hidden seed.
A keeper of the dismissed seed.
A bag for the fallen seed.
This was what the Lord gave me and now I wait for Him to write His story on my life. A new chapter or piece of art work...
Do you ever feel that something is coming but you don't know what? This is how I feel, to prepare for something that is unknown. I am compelled to ready myself and to wait.
I have been here before and am excited for what my Father is doing in me.
Please friend, tell me if you have ever been here before. Tell me what God has done for you after your time of waiting for His brush strokes.
If you pray for me, pray I stay fixed on Him and not become anxious in the process of being on pause.
Psalm 27:4 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 And then God answered: "Write this.Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. the message
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
the Eagle and the crows
He sat on top of the pole, regal and poised. He looked around at the traffic, unnerved and unmoved. The rain poured down but he didn't seem to mind. Around his head swarmed two irritated crows. Annoyed at his very presence, the crows swooped down and tried to frustrate this mighty bird of prey, but to no avail. This kingly feathered friend of mine was making quite a statement to me and to the crows. I respected his grace and his presence. The crows however were not appreciating him as much as I. He was displaying to me a stand and a standard. How to be strong and confidant when the crows around you are squawking, trying to intimidate you. And how to maintain your peace when the dark birds are angry with your very existence.
I saw my eagle friend again today and this time he taught me even more about ignoring the crows in your life. As I left work, just before my turn, I was honored with his flight once again. His wings were spread wide, and he was gliding on the currents but not without company. You guessed it. His two familiar pals were dive bombing him and attacking him. However, my glorious creature of a friend, did not flap madly trying to escape the crows, no, instead he was gliding this way and that. Every once in while he would flap his powerful wings a couple times and shoot up even further. The pitiful crows would beat their small wings furiously trying to make him flee. But that just seemed to make the eagles presence that much more stately. These garbage birds just didn't want to share the air. The regal eagle would not be daunted. He owned the sky. He could have soared high above them but instead he enjoyed the currents and ignored the crows.
This time he was teaching me to not run from the irritants. The frustrations that the enemy uses to pester were not to make me flap wildly in fear or anxiousness. Instead, I am spreading my wings and enjoying the way the wind blows under them.
Sometimes the anointing annoys just for showing up. Just for sitting on top of a pole. Just for flying in the same air others want to dominate. Obviously the crows represent, to me, irritants and demonic influences. They also can be those people used by the enemy, squawking and talking. But like the eagle we need to stand and set a standard. We need to soar and maintain our peace even when we are being dive bombed. Free in the midst of oppression. Free in the midst of the words flying. Free in the midst of opposition. Flying free owning the air.
2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
My word to you tonight, if you have been pestered by the crows and bullied by some dark birds. Remember, no matter where you fly, you will always have a few crows to deal with. Follow the example of the eagle who learned how to enjoy the currents and ignore the crows.
I saw my eagle friend again today and this time he taught me even more about ignoring the crows in your life. As I left work, just before my turn, I was honored with his flight once again. His wings were spread wide, and he was gliding on the currents but not without company. You guessed it. His two familiar pals were dive bombing him and attacking him. However, my glorious creature of a friend, did not flap madly trying to escape the crows, no, instead he was gliding this way and that. Every once in while he would flap his powerful wings a couple times and shoot up even further. The pitiful crows would beat their small wings furiously trying to make him flee. But that just seemed to make the eagles presence that much more stately. These garbage birds just didn't want to share the air. The regal eagle would not be daunted. He owned the sky. He could have soared high above them but instead he enjoyed the currents and ignored the crows.
This time he was teaching me to not run from the irritants. The frustrations that the enemy uses to pester were not to make me flap wildly in fear or anxiousness. Instead, I am spreading my wings and enjoying the way the wind blows under them.
Sometimes the anointing annoys just for showing up. Just for sitting on top of a pole. Just for flying in the same air others want to dominate. Obviously the crows represent, to me, irritants and demonic influences. They also can be those people used by the enemy, squawking and talking. But like the eagle we need to stand and set a standard. We need to soar and maintain our peace even when we are being dive bombed. Free in the midst of oppression. Free in the midst of the words flying. Free in the midst of opposition. Flying free owning the air.
2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
My word to you tonight, if you have been pestered by the crows and bullied by some dark birds. Remember, no matter where you fly, you will always have a few crows to deal with. Follow the example of the eagle who learned how to enjoy the currents and ignore the crows.
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