I sat in his office, sick that I was in the principal's office once again. How do I keep getting into these messes? Don't answer that. Sure I was the kid who would put tacks on a fellow students seat before he plopped down. And yes I was the girl who would sharpen my pencil 800 times. And maybe I was the girl who wrote the answers on her hand during tests...maybe. And maybe I would cut my friends hair during recess. But this time it wasn't my fault. It was another.
I was being asked the questions as to what transpired. Did I see her take the necklace off the rack? Did I see her with the stolen goods? My answer made me ill. I did in fact see my friend, who was the thief, with the items. I went to a christian school and a friend of mine was caught red handed with stolen jewelry. What were those items? Michel Jackson collectibles. This friend was so mesmerized and in love with him she was willing to break the law for his themed jewelry and clothing. Now here I am being questioned by our principal/pastor if I witnessed it. I feared this man. He never seemed too happy with me anyway. Other encounters were usually correcting me, trying to change me, warning me, and now I was required to be a snitch. To betray a friend is never easy. And to be put on the spot by somebody you fear rather than respect, made the situation even more difficult.
The reason this story comes back to my mind is for two reason: 1) This is the 1 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. And 2) I am reading A Tale of Three Kings, a study of brokenness, submission and authority.
That encounter with my school principal and other leaders who caused my heart to beat faster out of fear, has always inspired me to study what true leadership is and what God sees as genuine authority. I think a quote from the Tale of Three Kings summed it up for me.
I will tell you of my king and his greatness, My king has never threatened me as does yours. Your king has begun his reign with laws, rules, regulations and fear. The clearest memory I have of my king, when we lived in caves, is that his was a life of submission, not authority. He taught me not the quick cures of rules and laws, but the art of patience...My king spoke not of submitting to him. He feared no rebellion...because...because he did not mind if he was dethroned?"
This was being said from one of David's mighty men. This fictitious interview also quoted the warrior saying, " David had authority, but I don't think that fact ever occurred to him! We were 600 no-goods with a leader who cried a lot."
A weeping leader sounds a lot like a man of sorrow. Sometimes I beat myself up because I cry when my heart hurts or I'm afraid. I feel weak when I am scared, and then it occurs to me, as I am sure it is occurring to you now, That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10
I remember when my dad got saved. I was nine years old and I saw him weeping at the altar with his hands raised. I left the pew and stood by him, I couldn't stop my tears. He reached his hand down to me and I took his weathered rough hand. I saw tears streaming down his face and my heart broke. And I never felt safer than when I saw my father weep.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
blank paper
I just made it back from a conference a few days ago and the Lord spoke some wonderful things into my heart. If you will allow me to share them, I would like to tell you what the Lord has placed in my spirit.
During worship, I began to hear in my spirit these words. Although It was me saying it I felt as if I was being spoke to.
At this particular time in my life I feel like a canvas. Unlike other times when I was the pen, or the paintbrush. I would write, draw or create. But not at this moment in time. I am blank.
Waiting for either a message to be written on me or a picture to be drawn. I wait, expectantly, wondering if I will be a song He makes of me, a letter He writes of me, a masterpiece He paints on me. Whatever it is I will resist picking up the brush to add my touch. I will resist the desire to add a color. I will repel the thought of grabbing the pen and describing a picture...I will wait.
I will wait for the word of the Author to be written.
I will wait for the brush strokes of the Artist to be painted
I will wait for the shaping of the Potter to be molded.
I will not add the colors.
I will not frame the art
I will not bind the book.
I will not fold the card.
I will not write the note
I will not pen the story.
I will wait.
( I saw in my spirit's eye these items on a stand)
A blank book waiting to be written. A blank song sheet waiting to be composed. A plain canvas waiting to be painted on. A blank piece of paper awaiting a letter to be written. An envelope waiting to be addressed.
(Then the question)
How do I prepare for the plan God has for me to be positioned for His purpose? What will I do as I wait?
(This was the answer)
I will be a gather of the forgotten seed
A seeker of the hidden seed.
A keeper of the dismissed seed.
A bag for the fallen seed.
This was what the Lord gave me and now I wait for Him to write His story on my life. A new chapter or piece of art work...
Do you ever feel that something is coming but you don't know what? This is how I feel, to prepare for something that is unknown. I am compelled to ready myself and to wait.
I have been here before and am excited for what my Father is doing in me.
Please friend, tell me if you have ever been here before. Tell me what God has done for you after your time of waiting for His brush strokes.
If you pray for me, pray I stay fixed on Him and not become anxious in the process of being on pause.
Psalm 27:4 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 And then God answered: "Write this.Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. the message
During worship, I began to hear in my spirit these words. Although It was me saying it I felt as if I was being spoke to.
At this particular time in my life I feel like a canvas. Unlike other times when I was the pen, or the paintbrush. I would write, draw or create. But not at this moment in time. I am blank.
Waiting for either a message to be written on me or a picture to be drawn. I wait, expectantly, wondering if I will be a song He makes of me, a letter He writes of me, a masterpiece He paints on me. Whatever it is I will resist picking up the brush to add my touch. I will resist the desire to add a color. I will repel the thought of grabbing the pen and describing a picture...I will wait.
I will wait for the word of the Author to be written.
I will wait for the brush strokes of the Artist to be painted
I will wait for the shaping of the Potter to be molded.
I will not add the colors.
I will not frame the art
I will not bind the book.
I will not fold the card.
I will not write the note
I will not pen the story.
I will wait.
( I saw in my spirit's eye these items on a stand)
A blank book waiting to be written. A blank song sheet waiting to be composed. A plain canvas waiting to be painted on. A blank piece of paper awaiting a letter to be written. An envelope waiting to be addressed.
(Then the question)
How do I prepare for the plan God has for me to be positioned for His purpose? What will I do as I wait?
(This was the answer)
I will be a gather of the forgotten seed
A seeker of the hidden seed.
A keeper of the dismissed seed.
A bag for the fallen seed.
This was what the Lord gave me and now I wait for Him to write His story on my life. A new chapter or piece of art work...
Do you ever feel that something is coming but you don't know what? This is how I feel, to prepare for something that is unknown. I am compelled to ready myself and to wait.
I have been here before and am excited for what my Father is doing in me.
Please friend, tell me if you have ever been here before. Tell me what God has done for you after your time of waiting for His brush strokes.
If you pray for me, pray I stay fixed on Him and not become anxious in the process of being on pause.
Psalm 27:4 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Habakkuk 2:2-3 And then God answered: "Write this.Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. the message
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
the Eagle and the crows
He sat on top of the pole, regal and poised. He looked around at the traffic, unnerved and unmoved. The rain poured down but he didn't seem to mind. Around his head swarmed two irritated crows. Annoyed at his very presence, the crows swooped down and tried to frustrate this mighty bird of prey, but to no avail. This kingly feathered friend of mine was making quite a statement to me and to the crows. I respected his grace and his presence. The crows however were not appreciating him as much as I. He was displaying to me a stand and a standard. How to be strong and confidant when the crows around you are squawking, trying to intimidate you. And how to maintain your peace when the dark birds are angry with your very existence.
I saw my eagle friend again today and this time he taught me even more about ignoring the crows in your life. As I left work, just before my turn, I was honored with his flight once again. His wings were spread wide, and he was gliding on the currents but not without company. You guessed it. His two familiar pals were dive bombing him and attacking him. However, my glorious creature of a friend, did not flap madly trying to escape the crows, no, instead he was gliding this way and that. Every once in while he would flap his powerful wings a couple times and shoot up even further. The pitiful crows would beat their small wings furiously trying to make him flee. But that just seemed to make the eagles presence that much more stately. These garbage birds just didn't want to share the air. The regal eagle would not be daunted. He owned the sky. He could have soared high above them but instead he enjoyed the currents and ignored the crows.
This time he was teaching me to not run from the irritants. The frustrations that the enemy uses to pester were not to make me flap wildly in fear or anxiousness. Instead, I am spreading my wings and enjoying the way the wind blows under them.
Sometimes the anointing annoys just for showing up. Just for sitting on top of a pole. Just for flying in the same air others want to dominate. Obviously the crows represent, to me, irritants and demonic influences. They also can be those people used by the enemy, squawking and talking. But like the eagle we need to stand and set a standard. We need to soar and maintain our peace even when we are being dive bombed. Free in the midst of oppression. Free in the midst of the words flying. Free in the midst of opposition. Flying free owning the air.
2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
My word to you tonight, if you have been pestered by the crows and bullied by some dark birds. Remember, no matter where you fly, you will always have a few crows to deal with. Follow the example of the eagle who learned how to enjoy the currents and ignore the crows.
I saw my eagle friend again today and this time he taught me even more about ignoring the crows in your life. As I left work, just before my turn, I was honored with his flight once again. His wings were spread wide, and he was gliding on the currents but not without company. You guessed it. His two familiar pals were dive bombing him and attacking him. However, my glorious creature of a friend, did not flap madly trying to escape the crows, no, instead he was gliding this way and that. Every once in while he would flap his powerful wings a couple times and shoot up even further. The pitiful crows would beat their small wings furiously trying to make him flee. But that just seemed to make the eagles presence that much more stately. These garbage birds just didn't want to share the air. The regal eagle would not be daunted. He owned the sky. He could have soared high above them but instead he enjoyed the currents and ignored the crows.
This time he was teaching me to not run from the irritants. The frustrations that the enemy uses to pester were not to make me flap wildly in fear or anxiousness. Instead, I am spreading my wings and enjoying the way the wind blows under them.
Sometimes the anointing annoys just for showing up. Just for sitting on top of a pole. Just for flying in the same air others want to dominate. Obviously the crows represent, to me, irritants and demonic influences. They also can be those people used by the enemy, squawking and talking. But like the eagle we need to stand and set a standard. We need to soar and maintain our peace even when we are being dive bombed. Free in the midst of oppression. Free in the midst of the words flying. Free in the midst of opposition. Flying free owning the air.
2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
My word to you tonight, if you have been pestered by the crows and bullied by some dark birds. Remember, no matter where you fly, you will always have a few crows to deal with. Follow the example of the eagle who learned how to enjoy the currents and ignore the crows.
Monday, May 10, 2010
one more thing
There he was on the sidewalk. Tucking his filthy shirt in his dirty jeans. A well dressed man on the corner was watching him, sizing him up. As I drove my daughter to school I saw this sad sight and my heart instantly felt for him. I wondered what it was that took him there. As he was trying to smooth his hair with his hands and freshen up, if you can call it that, I passed him by in a matter of seconds. But not without him leaving some footprints on my heart. He made me think of myself.
No, I don't have a drug or alcohol problem. And no, I don't need a hair brush. This man made me think of a person who had one thing to many cross his path. As he kept getting buried in one thing after the other, the problems became to big to conquer. And he quit.
Similar to the way laundry builds up. Just when you think your done, you just have to walk into your teenage sons room and see that you are once again behind. I think that's where I was relating to him. Barely recovering from one problem when the next one comes crashing in.
I am not saying drug addiction is like laundry... but maybe I am. Just hear me out.
A neglected pile of dirty laundry grows because you were to busy or to tired to deal with it. You get so far behind that it will take days to catch up, but while your trying to catch up you still have today's laundry. And then the unthinkable happens. The washer breaks. Now the pile is growing bigger than you think you can handle. Its to much for one person. You need help. Big time! You go to take it to the laundry mat only to find out your car is having trouble and won't start. Because of this you are unable to get to work on time the next morning. You have to call in and loose precious paying hours to take the car to the shop that will cost more than you have to fix it. Taking from the grocery money, you pay to have the car fixed but now you are eating popcorn for two weeks. Still unable to catch up on the laundry because now you have no money for the laundry mat. So you keep wearing yesterdays filth. Life has snowballed on you and you are to far behind to catch up to daily living. One more thing after one more thing, and your mind becomes foggy with yesterdays troubles and today's needs.
As I drove passed the dirty sidewalk man, my thought was, "What was his one more thing that kept him from recovering?" What part broke in his life that brought on the snowball effect? What happened that got so out of control, he lost control of his own life? What was that one more thing for him?
You see, we as believers have a place we can go when one more thing keeps happening. We go to the arms of the Father that gives us peace in the presence of over whelming chaos. When life's "laundry" piles up and we are to broken to handle one more thing, we don't have to lean on our strength to get by. We get to lean on His. We get to lean on our brothers and sisters in the faith. We get to be refreshed by His new morning mercies. And believe me, that next days mercy is anticipated by me. I have learned to wait for it. In my pilgrimage here on this unfair, unpredictable earth, I have learned to understand the power of tomorrow.
It is hope in the midst of despair. Its life to a worn out soul. Waiting for God to handle the one more thing while we rest in His timing, will keeps us from becoming drudged down with the arrows that keep flying at us. As I am walking through the one more thing, I am holding and praying for a friend who is going through hers. And we have the hope that tomorrow will be different.
Palm 33:18-22 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.
One more thing; if you are trying to cope with yesterdays troubles while today's are fast approaching, remember that His mercies are new every morning and tomorrow is just yesterdays today. Breath in deep friend, He has it all under control now.
No, I don't have a drug or alcohol problem. And no, I don't need a hair brush. This man made me think of a person who had one thing to many cross his path. As he kept getting buried in one thing after the other, the problems became to big to conquer. And he quit.
Similar to the way laundry builds up. Just when you think your done, you just have to walk into your teenage sons room and see that you are once again behind. I think that's where I was relating to him. Barely recovering from one problem when the next one comes crashing in.
I am not saying drug addiction is like laundry... but maybe I am. Just hear me out.
A neglected pile of dirty laundry grows because you were to busy or to tired to deal with it. You get so far behind that it will take days to catch up, but while your trying to catch up you still have today's laundry. And then the unthinkable happens. The washer breaks. Now the pile is growing bigger than you think you can handle. Its to much for one person. You need help. Big time! You go to take it to the laundry mat only to find out your car is having trouble and won't start. Because of this you are unable to get to work on time the next morning. You have to call in and loose precious paying hours to take the car to the shop that will cost more than you have to fix it. Taking from the grocery money, you pay to have the car fixed but now you are eating popcorn for two weeks. Still unable to catch up on the laundry because now you have no money for the laundry mat. So you keep wearing yesterdays filth. Life has snowballed on you and you are to far behind to catch up to daily living. One more thing after one more thing, and your mind becomes foggy with yesterdays troubles and today's needs.
As I drove passed the dirty sidewalk man, my thought was, "What was his one more thing that kept him from recovering?" What part broke in his life that brought on the snowball effect? What happened that got so out of control, he lost control of his own life? What was that one more thing for him?
You see, we as believers have a place we can go when one more thing keeps happening. We go to the arms of the Father that gives us peace in the presence of over whelming chaos. When life's "laundry" piles up and we are to broken to handle one more thing, we don't have to lean on our strength to get by. We get to lean on His. We get to lean on our brothers and sisters in the faith. We get to be refreshed by His new morning mercies. And believe me, that next days mercy is anticipated by me. I have learned to wait for it. In my pilgrimage here on this unfair, unpredictable earth, I have learned to understand the power of tomorrow.
It is hope in the midst of despair. Its life to a worn out soul. Waiting for God to handle the one more thing while we rest in His timing, will keeps us from becoming drudged down with the arrows that keep flying at us. As I am walking through the one more thing, I am holding and praying for a friend who is going through hers. And we have the hope that tomorrow will be different.
Palm 33:18-22 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.
One more thing; if you are trying to cope with yesterdays troubles while today's are fast approaching, remember that His mercies are new every morning and tomorrow is just yesterdays today. Breath in deep friend, He has it all under control now.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Alone with God
" Its just you and me here now, only you and me here now." As I pondered this song early this morning I thought of the day before. We had our Saturday morning coffee at our usual place. We then went to walk a beautiful park and look at the ships and boats coming in. After that we journeyed towards down town and had sushi. We walked together, holding hands and forgetting time and responsibilities. Then we went and had a real lunch. (Sushi is never enough) We actually split each meal we ate. And then the thought crossed my mind... Oh my Gosh, we're our parents.
Well, we are getting to that place where the nest just keeps getting emptier. I have heard horror stories of marriages falling apart after the kids moved out because the only thing the couple had in common were their children. When it came down to being alone together they were uncomfortable because they didn't know each other anymore. Being alone with the love of our life shouldn't freak us out. I have heard it said, the test of being comfortable with somebody is being alone with them without feeling the need to speak. But what about being alone with God, THEE love of our life, the One who first loved us. Are we comfortable with Him?
I thought of heroes in the Bible that stood alone with God. Some of them started out surrounded with family, fullness, success and favor. But then life happened, storms blew in. And the only reason they survived the storm was because they were close to the one who walks on the troubled seas. Joseph, Abraham, Moses, David, and Job are just to name a few.
When everything and everyone is gone, and its just you and God...
When your familiar life has suddenly changed... When hell is paying you a visit... When the doctor calls to give your diagnosis...When the husband walks out... When your children marry leaving you an empty room full of memories... When you are left with just you and God and all you have is Him, you find that He is all that you need.
He is all you need to face whatever it is that is looming in the corners.
He is all you need to rebuild when all you have is ashes of a wasted life.
He is all you need to comfort a heart so broken it seems impossible to ever be the same.
Habakkuk 3:17-18 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation
When you find yourself singing the song, " Its just you and me here now", you have to be friends with the God you are left alone with. He is the only one who will remain. He is the only one who can stand when everybody else falls. He is the only one left when all the accuser are silenced.
Learning to be comfortable with Love when the only thing you have in common with Him is gone, is not easy. Learning to be at peace with Love when you feel He may have allowed the storm, is difficult. Learning to trust this Love when you are empty, will begin to fill the barren places again. Learning to be alone with Love when He is quiet, will strength your relationship.
If or when you are in a place with God and God alone, and Habakkuk 3:17 has come to pass, You will be able to sing, "its just you and me here now, only you and me here now." And be at peace with whatever comes your way. Because you are near to the one you love you draw from His quiet strength. His gentle whispers enables you to say “I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. Who never leaves me or forsakes me, His Grace is sufficient for me. My Jesus is enough!”
Well, we are getting to that place where the nest just keeps getting emptier. I have heard horror stories of marriages falling apart after the kids moved out because the only thing the couple had in common were their children. When it came down to being alone together they were uncomfortable because they didn't know each other anymore. Being alone with the love of our life shouldn't freak us out. I have heard it said, the test of being comfortable with somebody is being alone with them without feeling the need to speak. But what about being alone with God, THEE love of our life, the One who first loved us. Are we comfortable with Him?
I thought of heroes in the Bible that stood alone with God. Some of them started out surrounded with family, fullness, success and favor. But then life happened, storms blew in. And the only reason they survived the storm was because they were close to the one who walks on the troubled seas. Joseph, Abraham, Moses, David, and Job are just to name a few.
When everything and everyone is gone, and its just you and God...
When your familiar life has suddenly changed... When hell is paying you a visit... When the doctor calls to give your diagnosis...When the husband walks out... When your children marry leaving you an empty room full of memories... When you are left with just you and God and all you have is Him, you find that He is all that you need.
He is all you need to face whatever it is that is looming in the corners.
He is all you need to rebuild when all you have is ashes of a wasted life.
He is all you need to comfort a heart so broken it seems impossible to ever be the same.
Habakkuk 3:17-18 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation
When you find yourself singing the song, " Its just you and me here now", you have to be friends with the God you are left alone with. He is the only one who will remain. He is the only one who can stand when everybody else falls. He is the only one left when all the accuser are silenced.
Learning to be comfortable with Love when the only thing you have in common with Him is gone, is not easy. Learning to be at peace with Love when you feel He may have allowed the storm, is difficult. Learning to trust this Love when you are empty, will begin to fill the barren places again. Learning to be alone with Love when He is quiet, will strength your relationship.
If or when you are in a place with God and God alone, and Habakkuk 3:17 has come to pass, You will be able to sing, "its just you and me here now, only you and me here now." And be at peace with whatever comes your way. Because you are near to the one you love you draw from His quiet strength. His gentle whispers enables you to say “I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. Who never leaves me or forsakes me, His Grace is sufficient for me. My Jesus is enough!”
Friday, April 23, 2010
A hinged heart
A faith not tested is a faith not trusted. I have heard that several times here lately. I wonder what the person was going through when the Lord downloaded that beautiful piece of information. I can tell you what is on my heart right now. I have two sons that are enlisted in the military and both of them have jobs that will take them to the front lines of war. The worry level has changed. It's not like them learning to drive or moving away it feels so much bigger than that.
When my son went to Australia for college, I was concerned, but I knew his surroundings and felt secure to a point. Yes, he had dangers that all of us face, but he was in a Christian college surrounded by godly people. This truth comforted me when I was missing him.
Ryley, my middle son, left last year for the army and has had to learn to stand in his faith alone. His faith goes under-fire as well as his purity. And he bears the words of his fellow soldiers with more grace than I would give them. Our encouragement to him has been to remember Daniel and Joseph. Having their faith tested to the very core and standing firm. During some of the most wicked times of history, those young men had their faith stretched to the max and stood strong.
I know what it is to have the fire of faith refine you, But you know, when its your children going through this and not yourself it just plain stinks.
Here recently my oldest son enlisted in the army and his job description is quite exciting and quite dangerous. He still has a few months here before he leaves for boot-camp, but I am already loosing sleep over his choice of work.
As their faith is tested, so is mine. I know that God is God and He keeps those we love under the shadow of His wing. I also know God thinks eternally and this life is just a vapor.
A few years ago the Lord gave me a picture of a heart that had hinges on it. His message to me was this "Mother with a hinged heart. It will break less and be able to take the shifts of life."
Similar to the way we see highways with giant brackets hinging them together to take the quakes of the earth. It will shake and ripple but it wont collapse.
As our children get older the fears get bigger. It is no longer the bully on the playground we are upset about. No, our loss of sleep is used up praying for them as they work the graveyard shift. Our time on our knees has become more than them making friends in school and fitting in. Our prayer have now turned to praying for them to stand alone when they don't. Our midnight candle burns vigilante when we know their lives are changing faster than they can keep up. When they are walking down the isle and their hearts are filled with hopes and dreams, and we know from first hand experience whats around the corner.
Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small.
This scripture is for us as parents and for our Children. To raise them to not faint when life is unfair, and for us to not fear when our faith is tested because their faith is tested.
Tested when our children are no longer under our watchful eye. Tested when they make choices you have advised them against. Tested when you know they are able to succeed, but they are not convinced. Tested when they are not walking in the ways they have been raised. Our tested faith becomes trusted faith when we know whom we have believed and are persuaded that He is able to keep what we have committed to Him until that Day. 2 Timothy 1:2
A hinged heart is a heart that has learned to trust a God who allows us all to be tested or sifted. We as parents have our faith tested when they are out of our care but not out of our prayers. And our children become familiar with the Father we have learned to trust with everything precious and dear to us...them.
When my son went to Australia for college, I was concerned, but I knew his surroundings and felt secure to a point. Yes, he had dangers that all of us face, but he was in a Christian college surrounded by godly people. This truth comforted me when I was missing him.
Ryley, my middle son, left last year for the army and has had to learn to stand in his faith alone. His faith goes under-fire as well as his purity. And he bears the words of his fellow soldiers with more grace than I would give them. Our encouragement to him has been to remember Daniel and Joseph. Having their faith tested to the very core and standing firm. During some of the most wicked times of history, those young men had their faith stretched to the max and stood strong.
I know what it is to have the fire of faith refine you, But you know, when its your children going through this and not yourself it just plain stinks.
Here recently my oldest son enlisted in the army and his job description is quite exciting and quite dangerous. He still has a few months here before he leaves for boot-camp, but I am already loosing sleep over his choice of work.
As their faith is tested, so is mine. I know that God is God and He keeps those we love under the shadow of His wing. I also know God thinks eternally and this life is just a vapor.
A few years ago the Lord gave me a picture of a heart that had hinges on it. His message to me was this "Mother with a hinged heart. It will break less and be able to take the shifts of life."
Similar to the way we see highways with giant brackets hinging them together to take the quakes of the earth. It will shake and ripple but it wont collapse.
As our children get older the fears get bigger. It is no longer the bully on the playground we are upset about. No, our loss of sleep is used up praying for them as they work the graveyard shift. Our time on our knees has become more than them making friends in school and fitting in. Our prayer have now turned to praying for them to stand alone when they don't. Our midnight candle burns vigilante when we know their lives are changing faster than they can keep up. When they are walking down the isle and their hearts are filled with hopes and dreams, and we know from first hand experience whats around the corner.
Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small.
This scripture is for us as parents and for our Children. To raise them to not faint when life is unfair, and for us to not fear when our faith is tested because their faith is tested.
Tested when our children are no longer under our watchful eye. Tested when they make choices you have advised them against. Tested when you know they are able to succeed, but they are not convinced. Tested when they are not walking in the ways they have been raised. Our tested faith becomes trusted faith when we know whom we have believed and are persuaded that He is able to keep what we have committed to Him until that Day. 2 Timothy 1:2
A hinged heart is a heart that has learned to trust a God who allows us all to be tested or sifted. We as parents have our faith tested when they are out of our care but not out of our prayers. And our children become familiar with the Father we have learned to trust with everything precious and dear to us...them.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
All I need is you Lord
"Mrs Ruddock the radiologist would like me to take another picture." Said Mary my nurse.The song floats through my head and heart again, "All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
A week prior to this appointment I found a lump the size of a dime under my arm.I went to my Dr and she felt it as well and scheduled me for a mamogram. I have had this scare before but my health had not been at its prime and several signs were pointing to a fear all women have.
I sat in the Dr's office waiting. After my first mamogram I was asked sit in the waiting room for my ultra sound. Then Mary asked me to come back for a second peak. After the second showing, I went back to my seat awaiting the ultra sound that was next. Something about sitting in a smock after your boobs have been rolling pinned over makes for great conversation. But the Gorilla in the room was not a funny matter. Fear was obviously a travel companion in this facility.
We giggled about the procedure and found things light to discuss but ones mind is trying to wrap around what might be next in their life and preparing for a storm that may or may not be coming.
An hour later my nurse sees that I am still waiting for my ultra sound. She said she was going to see what was taking so long. In that hour I had seen several women come and go and be informed that they would receive a letter in ten days. That is good news is you have had a mamogram because if there is anything suspicious you are having checked out they let you know that day. I know this because I asked how long it would take to get my results. This hour gave me a lot of time to pray, reflect and worry a bit. And Then I prayed a radical prayer. I said "Alright Lord, If this is a hurdle you want me to jump I will. If you need a Lazarus to show your glory I surrender to your plan."
I was readying my heart for whatever God was about to take me through. I have learned to do this because He has not always rescued me from some pretty horrific things but instead braced me and carried me in them. I have learned He is Always faithful, Never failing and a Constant presence in my trouble.
I am called back for the ultra sound, after a few minutes the technician says to me " I need to go show these to the radiologist." The song in my heart is sung again.
All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you.
She comes back and says, "You are free to go."
You can imagine the look of confusion on my face. I was prepared for the worst and now I am being released. I asked her if she found the lump. She said " No its gone", matter-of-factly. I am shaking my head. Last week I have a lump this week its gone. All my extra x-rays and time waiting were because they were looking for something that was there a few days ago and now its not.
I called my husband who was out of town and told him the good news and then called a dear friend who's father-in-law was going through caner and informed her my lump was gone. I later learned that she wept over my healing. This did something to my spirit that is very hard to put into words. I didn't even cry but she allowed her tears to flow for me. My touch from God was a great encouragement to her that God still sits on the throne and has the final say in our lives. Yes God still moves!!!
Many prayers were offered up that week by a few close friends and family. And my Heart was being encouraged in the Lord.
A measure of trust is released and your faith is increased during the unknown times. I teach in my bible study that hope is the lasso that connects us to the unseen. As I sat in the waiting room I took my prayers and swung them around an unseen God and said "I will not let go of you not matter what."
As I am being touched and healed, I have friends that are walking through the very thing I was rescued from. Does it make since to me that I am healed and another is not? No, not really. I can't even try to figure it out. What I do know, is that those who are journeying through their wilderness, and not being rescued from it, will not be disappointed in God or the treasures they find in the storm.
Is 63:7 in the Message bible reads
In all their troubles, he was troubled, too. He didn't send someone else to help them. He did it himself, in person. Out of his own love and pity he redeemed them. He rescued them and carried them along for a long, long time.
My words to you today is, if your are having to walk through some unknown territory, hold fast to the one who walks the dark hills with you.
And don't forget to sing.
"All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
A week prior to this appointment I found a lump the size of a dime under my arm.I went to my Dr and she felt it as well and scheduled me for a mamogram. I have had this scare before but my health had not been at its prime and several signs were pointing to a fear all women have.
I sat in the Dr's office waiting. After my first mamogram I was asked sit in the waiting room for my ultra sound. Then Mary asked me to come back for a second peak. After the second showing, I went back to my seat awaiting the ultra sound that was next. Something about sitting in a smock after your boobs have been rolling pinned over makes for great conversation. But the Gorilla in the room was not a funny matter. Fear was obviously a travel companion in this facility.
We giggled about the procedure and found things light to discuss but ones mind is trying to wrap around what might be next in their life and preparing for a storm that may or may not be coming.
An hour later my nurse sees that I am still waiting for my ultra sound. She said she was going to see what was taking so long. In that hour I had seen several women come and go and be informed that they would receive a letter in ten days. That is good news is you have had a mamogram because if there is anything suspicious you are having checked out they let you know that day. I know this because I asked how long it would take to get my results. This hour gave me a lot of time to pray, reflect and worry a bit. And Then I prayed a radical prayer. I said "Alright Lord, If this is a hurdle you want me to jump I will. If you need a Lazarus to show your glory I surrender to your plan."
I was readying my heart for whatever God was about to take me through. I have learned to do this because He has not always rescued me from some pretty horrific things but instead braced me and carried me in them. I have learned He is Always faithful, Never failing and a Constant presence in my trouble.
I am called back for the ultra sound, after a few minutes the technician says to me " I need to go show these to the radiologist." The song in my heart is sung again.
All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you.
She comes back and says, "You are free to go."
You can imagine the look of confusion on my face. I was prepared for the worst and now I am being released. I asked her if she found the lump. She said " No its gone", matter-of-factly. I am shaking my head. Last week I have a lump this week its gone. All my extra x-rays and time waiting were because they were looking for something that was there a few days ago and now its not.
I called my husband who was out of town and told him the good news and then called a dear friend who's father-in-law was going through caner and informed her my lump was gone. I later learned that she wept over my healing. This did something to my spirit that is very hard to put into words. I didn't even cry but she allowed her tears to flow for me. My touch from God was a great encouragement to her that God still sits on the throne and has the final say in our lives. Yes God still moves!!!
Many prayers were offered up that week by a few close friends and family. And my Heart was being encouraged in the Lord.
A measure of trust is released and your faith is increased during the unknown times. I teach in my bible study that hope is the lasso that connects us to the unseen. As I sat in the waiting room I took my prayers and swung them around an unseen God and said "I will not let go of you not matter what."
As I am being touched and healed, I have friends that are walking through the very thing I was rescued from. Does it make since to me that I am healed and another is not? No, not really. I can't even try to figure it out. What I do know, is that those who are journeying through their wilderness, and not being rescued from it, will not be disappointed in God or the treasures they find in the storm.
Is 63:7 in the Message bible reads
In all their troubles, he was troubled, too. He didn't send someone else to help them. He did it himself, in person. Out of his own love and pity he redeemed them. He rescued them and carried them along for a long, long time.
My words to you today is, if your are having to walk through some unknown territory, hold fast to the one who walks the dark hills with you.
And don't forget to sing.
"All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
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