A faith not tested is a faith not trusted. I have heard that several times here lately. I wonder what the person was going through when the Lord downloaded that beautiful piece of information. I can tell you what is on my heart right now. I have two sons that are enlisted in the military and both of them have jobs that will take them to the front lines of war. The worry level has changed. It's not like them learning to drive or moving away it feels so much bigger than that.
When my son went to Australia for college, I was concerned, but I knew his surroundings and felt secure to a point. Yes, he had dangers that all of us face, but he was in a Christian college surrounded by godly people. This truth comforted me when I was missing him.
Ryley, my middle son, left last year for the army and has had to learn to stand in his faith alone. His faith goes under-fire as well as his purity. And he bears the words of his fellow soldiers with more grace than I would give them. Our encouragement to him has been to remember Daniel and Joseph. Having their faith tested to the very core and standing firm. During some of the most wicked times of history, those young men had their faith stretched to the max and stood strong.
I know what it is to have the fire of faith refine you, But you know, when its your children going through this and not yourself it just plain stinks.
Here recently my oldest son enlisted in the army and his job description is quite exciting and quite dangerous. He still has a few months here before he leaves for boot-camp, but I am already loosing sleep over his choice of work.
As their faith is tested, so is mine. I know that God is God and He keeps those we love under the shadow of His wing. I also know God thinks eternally and this life is just a vapor.
A few years ago the Lord gave me a picture of a heart that had hinges on it. His message to me was this "Mother with a hinged heart. It will break less and be able to take the shifts of life."
Similar to the way we see highways with giant brackets hinging them together to take the quakes of the earth. It will shake and ripple but it wont collapse.
As our children get older the fears get bigger. It is no longer the bully on the playground we are upset about. No, our loss of sleep is used up praying for them as they work the graveyard shift. Our time on our knees has become more than them making friends in school and fitting in. Our prayer have now turned to praying for them to stand alone when they don't. Our midnight candle burns vigilante when we know their lives are changing faster than they can keep up. When they are walking down the isle and their hearts are filled with hopes and dreams, and we know from first hand experience whats around the corner.
Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity, Your strength is small.
This scripture is for us as parents and for our Children. To raise them to not faint when life is unfair, and for us to not fear when our faith is tested because their faith is tested.
Tested when our children are no longer under our watchful eye. Tested when they make choices you have advised them against. Tested when you know they are able to succeed, but they are not convinced. Tested when they are not walking in the ways they have been raised. Our tested faith becomes trusted faith when we know whom we have believed and are persuaded that He is able to keep what we have committed to Him until that Day. 2 Timothy 1:2
A hinged heart is a heart that has learned to trust a God who allows us all to be tested or sifted. We as parents have our faith tested when they are out of our care but not out of our prayers. And our children become familiar with the Father we have learned to trust with everything precious and dear to us...them.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
All I need is you Lord
"Mrs Ruddock the radiologist would like me to take another picture." Said Mary my nurse.The song floats through my head and heart again, "All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
A week prior to this appointment I found a lump the size of a dime under my arm.I went to my Dr and she felt it as well and scheduled me for a mamogram. I have had this scare before but my health had not been at its prime and several signs were pointing to a fear all women have.
I sat in the Dr's office waiting. After my first mamogram I was asked sit in the waiting room for my ultra sound. Then Mary asked me to come back for a second peak. After the second showing, I went back to my seat awaiting the ultra sound that was next. Something about sitting in a smock after your boobs have been rolling pinned over makes for great conversation. But the Gorilla in the room was not a funny matter. Fear was obviously a travel companion in this facility.
We giggled about the procedure and found things light to discuss but ones mind is trying to wrap around what might be next in their life and preparing for a storm that may or may not be coming.
An hour later my nurse sees that I am still waiting for my ultra sound. She said she was going to see what was taking so long. In that hour I had seen several women come and go and be informed that they would receive a letter in ten days. That is good news is you have had a mamogram because if there is anything suspicious you are having checked out they let you know that day. I know this because I asked how long it would take to get my results. This hour gave me a lot of time to pray, reflect and worry a bit. And Then I prayed a radical prayer. I said "Alright Lord, If this is a hurdle you want me to jump I will. If you need a Lazarus to show your glory I surrender to your plan."
I was readying my heart for whatever God was about to take me through. I have learned to do this because He has not always rescued me from some pretty horrific things but instead braced me and carried me in them. I have learned He is Always faithful, Never failing and a Constant presence in my trouble.
I am called back for the ultra sound, after a few minutes the technician says to me " I need to go show these to the radiologist." The song in my heart is sung again.
All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you.
She comes back and says, "You are free to go."
You can imagine the look of confusion on my face. I was prepared for the worst and now I am being released. I asked her if she found the lump. She said " No its gone", matter-of-factly. I am shaking my head. Last week I have a lump this week its gone. All my extra x-rays and time waiting were because they were looking for something that was there a few days ago and now its not.
I called my husband who was out of town and told him the good news and then called a dear friend who's father-in-law was going through caner and informed her my lump was gone. I later learned that she wept over my healing. This did something to my spirit that is very hard to put into words. I didn't even cry but she allowed her tears to flow for me. My touch from God was a great encouragement to her that God still sits on the throne and has the final say in our lives. Yes God still moves!!!
Many prayers were offered up that week by a few close friends and family. And my Heart was being encouraged in the Lord.
A measure of trust is released and your faith is increased during the unknown times. I teach in my bible study that hope is the lasso that connects us to the unseen. As I sat in the waiting room I took my prayers and swung them around an unseen God and said "I will not let go of you not matter what."
As I am being touched and healed, I have friends that are walking through the very thing I was rescued from. Does it make since to me that I am healed and another is not? No, not really. I can't even try to figure it out. What I do know, is that those who are journeying through their wilderness, and not being rescued from it, will not be disappointed in God or the treasures they find in the storm.
Is 63:7 in the Message bible reads
In all their troubles, he was troubled, too. He didn't send someone else to help them. He did it himself, in person. Out of his own love and pity he redeemed them. He rescued them and carried them along for a long, long time.
My words to you today is, if your are having to walk through some unknown territory, hold fast to the one who walks the dark hills with you.
And don't forget to sing.
"All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
A week prior to this appointment I found a lump the size of a dime under my arm.I went to my Dr and she felt it as well and scheduled me for a mamogram. I have had this scare before but my health had not been at its prime and several signs were pointing to a fear all women have.
I sat in the Dr's office waiting. After my first mamogram I was asked sit in the waiting room for my ultra sound. Then Mary asked me to come back for a second peak. After the second showing, I went back to my seat awaiting the ultra sound that was next. Something about sitting in a smock after your boobs have been rolling pinned over makes for great conversation. But the Gorilla in the room was not a funny matter. Fear was obviously a travel companion in this facility.
We giggled about the procedure and found things light to discuss but ones mind is trying to wrap around what might be next in their life and preparing for a storm that may or may not be coming.
An hour later my nurse sees that I am still waiting for my ultra sound. She said she was going to see what was taking so long. In that hour I had seen several women come and go and be informed that they would receive a letter in ten days. That is good news is you have had a mamogram because if there is anything suspicious you are having checked out they let you know that day. I know this because I asked how long it would take to get my results. This hour gave me a lot of time to pray, reflect and worry a bit. And Then I prayed a radical prayer. I said "Alright Lord, If this is a hurdle you want me to jump I will. If you need a Lazarus to show your glory I surrender to your plan."
I was readying my heart for whatever God was about to take me through. I have learned to do this because He has not always rescued me from some pretty horrific things but instead braced me and carried me in them. I have learned He is Always faithful, Never failing and a Constant presence in my trouble.
I am called back for the ultra sound, after a few minutes the technician says to me " I need to go show these to the radiologist." The song in my heart is sung again.
All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you.
She comes back and says, "You are free to go."
You can imagine the look of confusion on my face. I was prepared for the worst and now I am being released. I asked her if she found the lump. She said " No its gone", matter-of-factly. I am shaking my head. Last week I have a lump this week its gone. All my extra x-rays and time waiting were because they were looking for something that was there a few days ago and now its not.
I called my husband who was out of town and told him the good news and then called a dear friend who's father-in-law was going through caner and informed her my lump was gone. I later learned that she wept over my healing. This did something to my spirit that is very hard to put into words. I didn't even cry but she allowed her tears to flow for me. My touch from God was a great encouragement to her that God still sits on the throne and has the final say in our lives. Yes God still moves!!!
Many prayers were offered up that week by a few close friends and family. And my Heart was being encouraged in the Lord.
A measure of trust is released and your faith is increased during the unknown times. I teach in my bible study that hope is the lasso that connects us to the unseen. As I sat in the waiting room I took my prayers and swung them around an unseen God and said "I will not let go of you not matter what."
As I am being touched and healed, I have friends that are walking through the very thing I was rescued from. Does it make since to me that I am healed and another is not? No, not really. I can't even try to figure it out. What I do know, is that those who are journeying through their wilderness, and not being rescued from it, will not be disappointed in God or the treasures they find in the storm.
Is 63:7 in the Message bible reads
In all their troubles, he was troubled, too. He didn't send someone else to help them. He did it himself, in person. Out of his own love and pity he redeemed them. He rescued them and carried them along for a long, long time.
My words to you today is, if your are having to walk through some unknown territory, hold fast to the one who walks the dark hills with you.
And don't forget to sing.
"All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord, is you."
2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Hiding in the rock
I roll to the left and I then to the right. I pray, I think, I pray some more. "Just go to sleep" I keep telling myself. Myself does not listen and stays awake anyway. Sometimes she is so stubborn. I quote scripture, I cast my cares, I close my eyes and yet I am still awake with a restless heart.
My spirit has been absorbing information that makes my mind want to spin. As I cry out to the Lord for him to make sense out of it, I hear nothing in response. Sometimes ignorance is just plain bliss.
I don't even have a direction with what I am writing, it is just spilling out. As I am crying out to God, this way to early of a Saturday morning, this scripture comes to me in Proverbs 30:26 coneys are creatures of little power, yet they make their home in the crags;"
Well, I instantly felt a connection to the little fellow who is no bigger than a bunny rabbit. I could picture it curled up in a tight little crevice, SLEEPING, and feeling quite safe. My imagination goes wild with what its life may be like. Maybe there's a storm outside, or worse, a predator. But this little critter positions itself between the rocks, out of harms way, resting and waiting. The storms are too big to weather and the lions are too big to fight, so she hides. She shields herself in the rocks where the wind and rain can not get to her and the paws of her enemy can't reach her. She doesn't have to fight nor does she have to be exposed to the elements, she just has to take shelter in the rock.
I think about what my heart is in turmoil with and then I picture it raging outside of my little fortress. I could see myself tucked in between a rock and a hard place, feeling hurt from the roars and growls but knowing this mountain lion can not touch me or reach me. I feel helpless and week, so hiding is better than fighting right now. As I am thinking of the snarls of words, I have to tuck my head lower and lean harder against the rock. I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for the storm to pass, I push myself deeper in-between the crags or crevices and wait it out.
Sometimes this warrior is just a child. And I have to run into my Fathers solid arms of love and tell Him I am afraid and don't know what to do. Just to have that time in the rock is enough to gather strength and hope. Time spent in the rock during the dark times is enough to draw courage and peace. What goes on behind a rolled stone is quite marvelous. What can happen in a cave is beyond miraculous. Wars that are won because of a quiet tomb-like moment is victorious!
As I am hiding, My Jesus is fighting. As I am resting, My Jesus is warring. As I am waiting, my Jesus is interceding. My down time is His release time.
Let's look back a few years ago, when 11 men went and hid in a room. Hiding from the government who just murdered their Leader, their Father, their friend. And as they are tucked into their crag, Christ is behind a rolled stone. Hidden so well from mans eyes, He is able to sneak all the way to hell and steal the keys of death and kick the devils butt while He's down there. He defeats all storms that may rage against us and closing every lions mouth that may try to devour.
He was between a tomb and a boulder with the appearance of death but with the agenda of life. Life abundant, Life eternal, Life with Joy, Life with peace and Life with power! And when the victory of all victories came to pass, the stone was rolled away and the men who were hiding in their little cave of fear, came face to face with the one who conquered it.
Yes Hiding in the rock is a good thing. It can erupt power, life, joy and strength. It can conquer fear and gobble up death. Then, then...then you can see how your hiding in the rock was actually trusting in your God.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
Psalm 18:31 For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God?
Psalm 27:5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
Psalm 31:3 Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Psalm 61:2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
My spirit has been absorbing information that makes my mind want to spin. As I cry out to the Lord for him to make sense out of it, I hear nothing in response. Sometimes ignorance is just plain bliss.
I don't even have a direction with what I am writing, it is just spilling out. As I am crying out to God, this way to early of a Saturday morning, this scripture comes to me in Proverbs 30:26 coneys are creatures of little power, yet they make their home in the crags;"
Well, I instantly felt a connection to the little fellow who is no bigger than a bunny rabbit. I could picture it curled up in a tight little crevice, SLEEPING, and feeling quite safe. My imagination goes wild with what its life may be like. Maybe there's a storm outside, or worse, a predator. But this little critter positions itself between the rocks, out of harms way, resting and waiting. The storms are too big to weather and the lions are too big to fight, so she hides. She shields herself in the rocks where the wind and rain can not get to her and the paws of her enemy can't reach her. She doesn't have to fight nor does she have to be exposed to the elements, she just has to take shelter in the rock.
I think about what my heart is in turmoil with and then I picture it raging outside of my little fortress. I could see myself tucked in between a rock and a hard place, feeling hurt from the roars and growls but knowing this mountain lion can not touch me or reach me. I feel helpless and week, so hiding is better than fighting right now. As I am thinking of the snarls of words, I have to tuck my head lower and lean harder against the rock. I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for the storm to pass, I push myself deeper in-between the crags or crevices and wait it out.
Sometimes this warrior is just a child. And I have to run into my Fathers solid arms of love and tell Him I am afraid and don't know what to do. Just to have that time in the rock is enough to gather strength and hope. Time spent in the rock during the dark times is enough to draw courage and peace. What goes on behind a rolled stone is quite marvelous. What can happen in a cave is beyond miraculous. Wars that are won because of a quiet tomb-like moment is victorious!
As I am hiding, My Jesus is fighting. As I am resting, My Jesus is warring. As I am waiting, my Jesus is interceding. My down time is His release time.
Let's look back a few years ago, when 11 men went and hid in a room. Hiding from the government who just murdered their Leader, their Father, their friend. And as they are tucked into their crag, Christ is behind a rolled stone. Hidden so well from mans eyes, He is able to sneak all the way to hell and steal the keys of death and kick the devils butt while He's down there. He defeats all storms that may rage against us and closing every lions mouth that may try to devour.
He was between a tomb and a boulder with the appearance of death but with the agenda of life. Life abundant, Life eternal, Life with Joy, Life with peace and Life with power! And when the victory of all victories came to pass, the stone was rolled away and the men who were hiding in their little cave of fear, came face to face with the one who conquered it.
Yes Hiding in the rock is a good thing. It can erupt power, life, joy and strength. It can conquer fear and gobble up death. Then, then...then you can see how your hiding in the rock was actually trusting in your God.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
Psalm 18:31 For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God?
Psalm 27:5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
Psalm 31:3 Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
Psalm 61:2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Mary's feet
Where do I begin? My son just came into my room and anointed my hands with oil. You may be wondering why, and maybe last week I would have wondered with you. For about a year Jessey's fire has been getting hotter and bigger. He is overflowing with the power and love of Christ. He has received a measure of faith that is astounding me! Our home has been rocked and is busting at the seems with radical faith. This Love he has for God has him evangelizing everywhere he goes. After a powerful conference with Todd White, Jessey has been inspired and in-fired. And kicked out of Sears for bothering the people with the message of Jesus. Tonight I witnessed one of the most beautiful acts
I got home late tonight. After work I stayed and helped my Pastor with his fathers funeral. Me and two other ladies were the last to leave. Their feet hurt them both. They are a few years older than me and most faithful. Lynn was kind enough to give Mary and I a ride home. As we pulled into my apartment I asked my kids to come and help bring in some of the leftovers from the funeral. My son Jessey comes down the stairs, the one who anointed my hands. Mary had said she wanted Jessey to pray over her feet. As we are unloading, Jessey asks Mary if she needs any prayer and asks her specifically how her feet are. Mary chuckles and says " I just told your Momma I wanted you to pray over my feet some time. Jessey then tells her "Come on up and I will pray over them now." Oh the boldness.
At that point I am hoping somebody had cleaned the house because I had been gone all day. We all march up the stairs and Mary seems especially excited. She is so cute. Jessey has Mary sit down. He places my sweet senior friends feet in his hands and begins his prayer. Mary is very shy about her feet and will not let anybody see them. So she keeps her socks on and allows Jessey to only remove her Shoes. She says they are to ugly to look at. As I am milling around in the kitchen cleaning up a few things, Jessey is extending his faith in the living-room. Jessey is fervently praying over Mary's feet declaring youthfulness back to them. He is waiting for God to do something outwardly. As we all are by this time. What started out as a young man praying for my friends feet has now turned into a Bethany moment.
I then bring him oil to anoint her feet with and he takes Marys socks off, she is telling us nobody has ever seen her feet. He begins to massage her feet, telling her how beautiful they are. She is weeping and Jessey just keeps speaking life and love over her, Declaring healing and asking God to remove the deformations and make her feet line up with the word of God. He then does something that is so intimate and unbelievable. He kisses Mary's feet and tells her he loves her. Mary crumbles. My dear friend who has been a widow for about twenty years and has been quite embarrassed about her feet has just encountered a Holy spirit wrecking ball. This gesture was tender and intimate. Jessey holds those well worn servants feet in his hands and tells her how beautiful they are. That they are precious because they carry one of Gods servants around, doing His work. Mary is weeping, Jessey is weeping and his tears are falling on her feet. I am weeping, My older son is weeping, his fiance is weeping, Lynn is weeping. The love of the Father was being funneled through a fifteen year old boy into a 60+ year old woman and healing was flowing. Healing of the heart. Healing of the soul. A Love so deep, generations were being crossed at lights speeds.
He put her socks back on her and then her shoes and then proceeded to help her up. He hugged her and held her for a while. She said it felt as if Jesus himself had kissed her feet and loved her. And Jessey said "He did."
Matthew 5:40 The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
Isn't it interesting that as Mary was experiencing the affection of the Father, Jessey was also experiencing Loving on His.
I got home late tonight. After work I stayed and helped my Pastor with his fathers funeral. Me and two other ladies were the last to leave. Their feet hurt them both. They are a few years older than me and most faithful. Lynn was kind enough to give Mary and I a ride home. As we pulled into my apartment I asked my kids to come and help bring in some of the leftovers from the funeral. My son Jessey comes down the stairs, the one who anointed my hands. Mary had said she wanted Jessey to pray over her feet. As we are unloading, Jessey asks Mary if she needs any prayer and asks her specifically how her feet are. Mary chuckles and says " I just told your Momma I wanted you to pray over my feet some time. Jessey then tells her "Come on up and I will pray over them now." Oh the boldness.
At that point I am hoping somebody had cleaned the house because I had been gone all day. We all march up the stairs and Mary seems especially excited. She is so cute. Jessey has Mary sit down. He places my sweet senior friends feet in his hands and begins his prayer. Mary is very shy about her feet and will not let anybody see them. So she keeps her socks on and allows Jessey to only remove her Shoes. She says they are to ugly to look at. As I am milling around in the kitchen cleaning up a few things, Jessey is extending his faith in the living-room. Jessey is fervently praying over Mary's feet declaring youthfulness back to them. He is waiting for God to do something outwardly. As we all are by this time. What started out as a young man praying for my friends feet has now turned into a Bethany moment.
I then bring him oil to anoint her feet with and he takes Marys socks off, she is telling us nobody has ever seen her feet. He begins to massage her feet, telling her how beautiful they are. She is weeping and Jessey just keeps speaking life and love over her, Declaring healing and asking God to remove the deformations and make her feet line up with the word of God. He then does something that is so intimate and unbelievable. He kisses Mary's feet and tells her he loves her. Mary crumbles. My dear friend who has been a widow for about twenty years and has been quite embarrassed about her feet has just encountered a Holy spirit wrecking ball. This gesture was tender and intimate. Jessey holds those well worn servants feet in his hands and tells her how beautiful they are. That they are precious because they carry one of Gods servants around, doing His work. Mary is weeping, Jessey is weeping and his tears are falling on her feet. I am weeping, My older son is weeping, his fiance is weeping, Lynn is weeping. The love of the Father was being funneled through a fifteen year old boy into a 60+ year old woman and healing was flowing. Healing of the heart. Healing of the soul. A Love so deep, generations were being crossed at lights speeds.
He put her socks back on her and then her shoes and then proceeded to help her up. He hugged her and held her for a while. She said it felt as if Jesus himself had kissed her feet and loved her. And Jessey said "He did."
Matthew 5:40 The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.
Isn't it interesting that as Mary was experiencing the affection of the Father, Jessey was also experiencing Loving on His.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
tying my shoe
We walked around a lovely lake because I wanted to. We went to lunch because I wanted to. We bought a latte because I wanted one. We crossed a field because I felt like it. My shoe came untied and my hands were full of a latte and a jacket for the sun was quite warm for this beautiful spring Monday. My husband bends down, asks me to place my foot on his knee and he ties my shoe. As I am watching him do this I notice we are encircled in a patch of wild daisies. Oh my gosh can it get any sweeter. We stroll back to the car and go downtown Seattle. We walked the streets enjoying the smells of bakery's, a variety of ethnic foods and even spring flowers. Our drive home became an adventure for we took side roads and back streets. Just so we had a view of the Puget Sound on our travels home.
Our day was spent dreaming together. He shared how he would love to own his own business again. I shared how desperately I want to go to India someday. We both spoke on how the mission field was calling us. We talked about serious stuff, light stuff, goofy stuff, family stuff, health stuff, AGING stuff... you name we talked about it.
This day wasn't planned, it just happened. There was one intentional thought though, I knew I wanted to spend time with him. No agenda, no clock, and no schedule.
Just a day with my best friend and might I say very good looking husband.
This is quite a sappy blog if you ask me but I am trying to say something here so please bear with me.
There is something to be said about a day that just happens with the one you love. The unplanned things usually become your best memories. The spontaneous trips, the midnight ice-cream runs, walks in the park ...
The is a carefree heart that adds a whistle to your walk when you have these stress-less days. Our hearts are allowed to gush our dreams, our plans, our wants, our desires.
Matthew 11:28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
I heard this scripture in the Message bible and just fell in love with it. The unforced rhythm of grace! Beautiful! Can it be said any plainer?
Grace that is not forced, Grace that is light hearted, Grace that says "What do you want to do today?" Grace that says "Walk with me." And when your arms are full and your shoes untied, this Grace asks you to place your foot on His knee and He will tie your shoe.
And if your lucky, it will be in a patch of wild flowers.
Our day was spent dreaming together. He shared how he would love to own his own business again. I shared how desperately I want to go to India someday. We both spoke on how the mission field was calling us. We talked about serious stuff, light stuff, goofy stuff, family stuff, health stuff, AGING stuff... you name we talked about it.
This day wasn't planned, it just happened. There was one intentional thought though, I knew I wanted to spend time with him. No agenda, no clock, and no schedule.
Just a day with my best friend and might I say very good looking husband.
This is quite a sappy blog if you ask me but I am trying to say something here so please bear with me.
There is something to be said about a day that just happens with the one you love. The unplanned things usually become your best memories. The spontaneous trips, the midnight ice-cream runs, walks in the park ...
The is a carefree heart that adds a whistle to your walk when you have these stress-less days. Our hearts are allowed to gush our dreams, our plans, our wants, our desires.
Matthew 11:28 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
I heard this scripture in the Message bible and just fell in love with it. The unforced rhythm of grace! Beautiful! Can it be said any plainer?
Grace that is not forced, Grace that is light hearted, Grace that says "What do you want to do today?" Grace that says "Walk with me." And when your arms are full and your shoes untied, this Grace asks you to place your foot on His knee and He will tie your shoe.
And if your lucky, it will be in a patch of wild flowers.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
For the love of Mike
He walked into the store, long gray hair, dirt stained clothes and smelling of a bar of soap. He carried with him a 5 gallon bucket with an orange lid. My guess; his earthly belongings. I smiled, " How are you today?" I asked. With a beautiful Scottish accent and a toothless grin he replied," Just fine darlin'".
"Can I help you find something?" Was my next question. " I need a sterling silver necklace of a cross with a dove. I just have to have a cross." He sounded like a movie star with the way he said his R's. And he was passionate about what kind of necklace and what he wanted it to be. He repeated to me "I just have to have a cross. Jesus has done so much for me." To look at him I knew he was homeless.His statement "looked" contradictory to his appearance.His clothes were old and stained but they were clean. He needed to see a dentist badly and he needed some personal grooming. His eyes were kind and his manners were exceptional. My mind spun with how he was going to afford a $50.00 necklace. I took him to the inexpensive ones first. He was polite and spoke gently that he was needing something that would not tarnish. I showed him our higher end jewelry. He chose 2 cross necklaces. We talked about his homeless camp and how proud he was of it and what he had done with his little patch of land. He shared with me how he had brought in white gravel and made a little path to his tent. He smiled broadly when he spoke of the police coming in to check on the camp and how they praised him for his care of his tent site.
He was ready to check out. I brought his two necklaces to the register and they totaled over $70.00. "Oh Jesus" I prayed "help me help him." I found a coupon a customer had left and I used it on his purchase and it was still over $50.00. He pulled out of his dingy jacket a purple bag with a gold cord. It looked like a royal money bag. In it was a thick pile of bills. In our conversation he never stopped giving God praise. He praised him for all he had and how he would be nothing without his Lord.
Others customers were in line and they were scrutinizing him and leaning away from him. My heart broke as I watched him be rejected for his appearance. In fact he was encouraging a mother to raise her children to love Jesus. The mother was annoyed and veering away from him.
I finished his transaction and gave him his change. I then asked his name, "Michael" He said. "It means,'who is like God'" He was very proud of his name. I told him my name and its meaning. He said "I am gonna be 59 soon.", he looked 79. Before he left I prayed with him. As I was praying his hands reached across the counter and he grabbed my hands and held them tight. I felt my heart squeeze and my prayer became more intense and a bit desperate. When I finished he was clearly touched by it and he was slow to leave.
We said good by and that was it, he was gone. Now here I am unable to shake the encounter with Michael. His name is a question as well as a statement. "Who is like God" He came in as the statement, despised and rejected, of comely appearance. I was the one who was asked the question. Did I do as God would have me? Did I entertain an angel just now? Disguised as a homeless man carrying in him a royal treasure.
I guess my question to you is the same as it is to me. Are we Like Him?
For the love of all the Mikes, are we like HIM!
"Can I help you find something?" Was my next question. " I need a sterling silver necklace of a cross with a dove. I just have to have a cross." He sounded like a movie star with the way he said his R's. And he was passionate about what kind of necklace and what he wanted it to be. He repeated to me "I just have to have a cross. Jesus has done so much for me." To look at him I knew he was homeless.His statement "looked" contradictory to his appearance.His clothes were old and stained but they were clean. He needed to see a dentist badly and he needed some personal grooming. His eyes were kind and his manners were exceptional. My mind spun with how he was going to afford a $50.00 necklace. I took him to the inexpensive ones first. He was polite and spoke gently that he was needing something that would not tarnish. I showed him our higher end jewelry. He chose 2 cross necklaces. We talked about his homeless camp and how proud he was of it and what he had done with his little patch of land. He shared with me how he had brought in white gravel and made a little path to his tent. He smiled broadly when he spoke of the police coming in to check on the camp and how they praised him for his care of his tent site.
He was ready to check out. I brought his two necklaces to the register and they totaled over $70.00. "Oh Jesus" I prayed "help me help him." I found a coupon a customer had left and I used it on his purchase and it was still over $50.00. He pulled out of his dingy jacket a purple bag with a gold cord. It looked like a royal money bag. In it was a thick pile of bills. In our conversation he never stopped giving God praise. He praised him for all he had and how he would be nothing without his Lord.
Others customers were in line and they were scrutinizing him and leaning away from him. My heart broke as I watched him be rejected for his appearance. In fact he was encouraging a mother to raise her children to love Jesus. The mother was annoyed and veering away from him.
I finished his transaction and gave him his change. I then asked his name, "Michael" He said. "It means,'who is like God'" He was very proud of his name. I told him my name and its meaning. He said "I am gonna be 59 soon.", he looked 79. Before he left I prayed with him. As I was praying his hands reached across the counter and he grabbed my hands and held them tight. I felt my heart squeeze and my prayer became more intense and a bit desperate. When I finished he was clearly touched by it and he was slow to leave.
We said good by and that was it, he was gone. Now here I am unable to shake the encounter with Michael. His name is a question as well as a statement. "Who is like God" He came in as the statement, despised and rejected, of comely appearance. I was the one who was asked the question. Did I do as God would have me? Did I entertain an angel just now? Disguised as a homeless man carrying in him a royal treasure.
I guess my question to you is the same as it is to me. Are we Like Him?
For the love of all the Mikes, are we like HIM!
Friday, March 5, 2010
A sunny day
I had the day off and was excited to spend it at home.I started the day with a song in my heart and a sunny day to greet me. My day began with me reading a few Psalms and My daughter reading to me a Proverbs. I felt inspired. I busted into a cleaning frenzy. You know the kind of cleaning only "You" know was done, corners, spot cleaning...etc. I was spot cleaning under chairs, behind corners and even in closets. The whole time I was scrubbing my home I had worship music blaring. It was a crisp, clear Washington morning but still worthy of cracking a window or two open for a while. The kids were at school the husband was gone and I had the house to my self to do as I pleased, and it pleased me to mop, dust, scrub and polish.
During my time of cleaning and worshiping, the scripture in Matthew about the inside of a cup being unclean kept coming to mind.
Matthew 23:25-28 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Have you ever grabbed a cup out of the cupboard and it had been cleaned but still had particles of who-knows-what on the inside of it? This is the picture I see when I read this scripture. You can't serve anyone with a cup like that. And so it is with our hearts. So, when you pour something into the cup, the crud that was stuck on it is now loose in the drink. The refreshment is tainted with inward garbage. Does that paint a picture for you?
I could hear the Lord speaking to me in this. How He loves to get on His knees and enter my inmost being and clean the forgotten spots, the neglected stains, the accumulated corner clutter. He enjoys the hands-on of taking out the trash. He loves to hear our songs floating out of the windows of our heart mingled with the aroma of His fragrant cleansing Power. Sure, He knows we will get dirty again. He knows our corners will get cluttered and He knows there will be more trash to take out. But that doesn't detour Him.
I think the biggie for me is, I truly want to be used by Him. I don't want any of my junk to be left as residue inside of me, the nasty little left over particles of fear or insecurities floating around in what could have been a refreshing drink for another.
It felt good for me to get on my knees and clean up spills that had been neglected or forgotten. I took the trash out and could here my worship music floating outside my little apartment. It looked clean to me as I stood outside of it. And I knew it was because I was doing the knuckle bleeding cleaning. And now I am outside of it hearing it sing.
I wonder if Christ feels that way after He's spent some one-on-one time with my inner person, a smile drawn across His face as He takes my trash and sin to the incinerator. The feeling of knowing a secret corner, that nobody knew about, was clean. Or the spot that was hidden under a piece of furniture was forever gone and now the living room could finally be rearranged. And then He hears the song...And smiles.
During my time of cleaning and worshiping, the scripture in Matthew about the inside of a cup being unclean kept coming to mind.
Matthew 23:25-28 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Have you ever grabbed a cup out of the cupboard and it had been cleaned but still had particles of who-knows-what on the inside of it? This is the picture I see when I read this scripture. You can't serve anyone with a cup like that. And so it is with our hearts. So, when you pour something into the cup, the crud that was stuck on it is now loose in the drink. The refreshment is tainted with inward garbage. Does that paint a picture for you?
I could hear the Lord speaking to me in this. How He loves to get on His knees and enter my inmost being and clean the forgotten spots, the neglected stains, the accumulated corner clutter. He enjoys the hands-on of taking out the trash. He loves to hear our songs floating out of the windows of our heart mingled with the aroma of His fragrant cleansing Power. Sure, He knows we will get dirty again. He knows our corners will get cluttered and He knows there will be more trash to take out. But that doesn't detour Him.
I think the biggie for me is, I truly want to be used by Him. I don't want any of my junk to be left as residue inside of me, the nasty little left over particles of fear or insecurities floating around in what could have been a refreshing drink for another.
It felt good for me to get on my knees and clean up spills that had been neglected or forgotten. I took the trash out and could here my worship music floating outside my little apartment. It looked clean to me as I stood outside of it. And I knew it was because I was doing the knuckle bleeding cleaning. And now I am outside of it hearing it sing.
I wonder if Christ feels that way after He's spent some one-on-one time with my inner person, a smile drawn across His face as He takes my trash and sin to the incinerator. The feeling of knowing a secret corner, that nobody knew about, was clean. Or the spot that was hidden under a piece of furniture was forever gone and now the living room could finally be rearranged. And then He hears the song...And smiles.
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